Saturday, June 27, 2009

In Bed

This week my torme-- err-- doctors and other medical staff-- decided it would be best for me to spend as much time as possible in bed. So after schlepping home in a funk on Tuesday, I crawled into bed with Max. The last week of the month is the one Ahmed spends in Nova Scotia, so he was on the phone grow-- err-- gently urging me-- to stay put and keep out of the nasty weather. I have to say, it's astonishing how much you can get done from your bed.

For instance:

If your sheets say 1000 thread count, and you have a good magnifying glass and a pin, you can actually count the threads.

With baby wipes and cotton swabs you can thoroughly clean the wrinkles, ears, and nose cracks of one reluctant pug.

You can discover what they actually show on local access cable. I must say the kids at Marshfield High made me cry with the Senior Class video. Good luck, kids.

Were you aware that in 90 seconds you can reduce fine lines and wrinkles, taking ten years off your face? If that's not true you get your money back!

There's a pentagram in the street map of Washington, DC. It points directly at the White House. DUDE! Witches should totally be in there! Also the tops of the pentacle's points have three street intersections that, from the air, appear to be three 6's. Always been there. The crazy French guy who laid out the city destroyed the only copy of the plans, by the way.

Andrew Jackson was a pratt. I'm serious. Discovery says so, and I always had my suspicions.

I have 73 plots in my current plot book. Yeah, I keep a plot book. Whenever ideas for short stories or novels pop into my head I scribble them in there. 73.

My current YA WIP is getting better because I am adding a light romantic angle. I've also changed the title to SongSpell. I'll probably change it again.

You know why most fantasy books have maps in the front? They are a total blast to draw in bed.

Max hates chickens. Like... he barks at the TV a lot. He barks at horses, dogs, and cats with a great deal of vehemence. He barks at anything in a pinstripe baseball uniform (that's my fault). But OMG he completely wigs out if he sees a chicken. Also the Afflec Duck. Not a fan.

We have goldfinches outside my window again. I love them. They're good luck and are supposed to bring money, but I don't even care about that. I love the way they perch on the most absurdly tiny thing-- like one slender stalk of ribwort-- and sway in the wind. Plus I love bright yellow.

And finally-- seriously-- these curtains have to go.


  1. It ate my first comment.. hmmm.

    Anyways! You haven't reached the point where you're making stories out of the little cracks in the paint on the ceiling. Or so annoyed with your covers that you're ready to open full on war against them.
    have fun!

  2. Heck, even I bark at the Afflec duck.

    BTW, I think SongSpell is a great title!

  3. Hi :)
    Thanks for sharing. This was a fun blog to read. I agree with ra King, SongSpell is a terrific title.
    I hope you are feeling better.
    Love From Northern Ontario

  4. LOL - you crack me up.

  5. I've escaped to Starbucks and may go to Alta to buy things that will absolutely NOT make me look younger in 90 seconds... but may make me feel better.

  6. ROFL that sounds like a lot of killing time...hope you can get up and around soon!!

  7. Ha Ha! That made me laugh out loud! I hooe you are up and about soon!!

  8. If I had to stay in bed right now, I would watch every BBC mini-series ever made and compare the literature adaptations on a spreadsheet.

    For some reason,lately, I've been obsessed with English men.

  9. I was on bedrest for the last 7 weeks of my 1st pregnancy. Sadly, I remember counting the loops in the carpet. And I got addicted to 90210. They were still in High School that year. I was a pregnant adult. And I COULDN'T STOP WATCHING. Bedrest can make us do crazy things.

    I'll have to try the baby wipe/q-tip thing for Ruby. Her nose crevices need some cleaning.