Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Hell hath no fury...Mwahahaha

When it comes to relationships and breaking up, I've never had any that ended on a super-great note--I'm not friends with any of my exes. We don't hang out and talk about the good old days, or have a drink together. In fact, I usually completely break up, without any contact with them whatsoever. I erase the evidence of that person having been in my life, because it's the only way for me to move on.

In a way, I kind of regret this. I hear about people who remain friends with their exes and wonder, what could I have done differently to have made that happen for us? Maybe something. Maybe nothing. Who knows? And honestly, would I even have wanted that?

Though the bulk of my relationships didn't end in friendship, they weren't usually traumatic. We went our separate ways and moved on. However, I've had a few horrible breakups, ones that have left me crumbled and severely injured.

Now, anyone who knows me knows I'm not normally a vengeful person by nature. I believe the best revenge is letting go of the past, moving on, and having a happy life.

However, there may or may not have been a couple of instances where I felt sooooo wronged by the other person that I left my, um, "less mature" side take over. For example, I hypothetically could have burned one ex's really expensive shirt in the sink after we broke up. Or there was the possibility that I may have signed up another ex for some revolting XXX email newsletters.

Admittedly, if those incidents above had, um, happened, I wouldn't feel guilty about the first one, given the circumstances of the breakup. The second one, though, I kinda wish I hadn't done--it was super petty. But at least it wasn't harmful or destructive, right? LOL

So, how have your relationship breakups gone down--did they end positively? Did they just fizzle out? Did they end in a torrent of tears and bad feelings?

And when you've broken up, have you ever gotten revenge on an ex? If so, what did you do? Were you happy about what you did, or did you regret it?


  1. My break-ups have always been complete. Except for one case, in which he turned out to be gay. That was slightly different.

  2. Amanda Brice9:14 AM

    Other than Mr. Brice, I've really only had two other very serious relationships, neither of which ended well.

    Well, one of them wasn't horrible. It just sort of ended and was awkward for a while there but by this point, there are certainly no hard feelings and I bet we could actually become friends if we were in the same city (I'm in DC and he's in Portland, OR now), particularly since we continue to share some mutual friends.

    The other? No way. Uh-uh. WAY too toxic. See, he cheated on me. With one of my sorority sisters.

  3. I have maintained a relationship with every serious ex but 1...and he and I have actually made contact in recent years, but there is no 'relationship' there anymore.

    Actually, I still see my very first love on a regular basis. We have lunch together once or twice a month and talk on the phone quite a bit. (and our break up in high school was U-G-L-Y but we got over it)

    I've never sought revenge on a boy who dumped me, if they cheated on me or anything. I had friends who would go absolutely ballistic over breakups and I thought they were just a few bricks shy of a full wheelbarrow when they acted that way, so I swore I wouldn't be the psycho. (not that all cases are psycho, but trust me, some of these girls behaved badly)

    Anyway, if somoeone was special enough for me to love at one time, then unless they hurt someone in my inner circle or did something dastardly (what a great word!) then I feel like they are special enough to maintain some sort of relationship with...even if it's just a once a year phone call.

  4. I had one very, very bad relationship and he is now deceased. It was OVER when it was over.

    But every other person I have ever dated is still considered a friend. I have been accused of being a people-collector. I guess it's true-- my friends stay my friends, even as far back as pre-school.

    I just figure the things that made me fall in love with somebody don't vanish just because we don't work as a pair.

  5. I only had one bad breakup...but we have children together, so we've made it a priority to remain...I guess friends. I think I actually consider him more like family than friends. We weren't a good couple, but he's a good person and he's a good parent. We don't hang out on our own or anything, but we do sit together at band concerts and honor roll breakfasts.