Saturday, November 29, 2008

Thank Heavens for My Portable Life

This week we've been talking about what we are thankful for. And just yesterday my bff Roxy said to me "what the heck is in that bag?" Know what? I'm not just thankful for big, roomy bags. I'm thankful for the massive, gigantic piles of crap I can cram into them. I LOVE my bag and all that it contains. And for this I give thanks. Here's why.

From my Rosetti of New York Hobo bag I can most likely launch a military invasion of Canada from Au Bon Pain or Starbucks. Now, I have nothing against Canada. I'm just saying they should be nice to me. Because I have a computer (upon which I am typing) with wifi.

I also have a small computer accessory bag in which I have included a usb connector, two jump drives, an SD card with 8mb of memory, a small wireless mouse, a spare phone charger for my cell phone, and the plug to the computer.

Should I be confused about directions, the future, the past, or anything else I can always pop out my mini tarot deck for a quick reading. This also doubles as a way to make a living if I end up trapped behind enemy lines or something. Hey, I've done it before.

I also have another matching bag in which I have tweezers, clippers, a nail file, band aids, antibiotic cream, baby aspirin, a safety pin, q-tips, lip balm, mineral powder makeup, and tums.

If you are wondering where the photos came from, I have a small digital camera and another flip camera for taking video shots. It connects directly to the computer, so I could be filming you or taking your still life right now. The video camera is very small and only take an hour of video without an SD card... oh yeah, I have one.

No, I'm not James Bond. I'm not QUITE that cool, but I am close. And if I have to prove my identity or simply share my awesomeness with the world I have two very nice business card holders. One has my personal business cards; the second has my pen name and writing info on it. For going incognito.

Bored? I have a Nintendo DS Light with both Solitaire Explosion and Assassin's Creed. You never know when you need to brush up your card skills OR practice killing people. The pink is just a smoke screen. I'm not licensed to kill but don't be fooled. I can be pretty dangerous.

I am, however, pretty blind. So I need my glasses. Also I have sunglasses. And a pad and pen in case a brilliant plot comes to me out of the clear blue sky. So I can jot down notes, then boot up my computer, and write the great American novel. Out of my purse. Just sayin'.

In case I need to fund my secret mission I keep my wallet, with credit cards and money and change, along with my lottery tickets handy. You never know when you may need a few million dollars. Secret missions get pricey.

And yeah, I have my own sound track. So my Mp3 player is fully charged and ready to go, tucked into one of my outside pockets. It's all crammed full of my action hero / novel writer tunes plus The Chipmunks and Television's Greatest themes, plus lots of other ultra cool sounds. It's an 8mb ZenV. LOVE IT.

Just in case things get tough I have oxygen. Canned. Shaken, not stirred. My man unit loves me so much he buys me the flavored kind. This is "polar rush," which tastes kind of like blue Gatorade. I prefer Mandarin Splash, but I'm out. Not crazy about Tropical Twist, which tastes like a musty pina colada. But the Fresh Mint is nice. Yeah... even when I wheeze and cough... I'm cool.

What else is in here? Gum, Juicy Couture Perfume travel size, matching lotion, extra pens, sweetnlow packets, notecards, a few paperclips, all manner of items that somebody like me, or-- say, McGeyver-- could find use for.

For all of this I am immeasurably thankful. My sack of tricks allows me to be a completely portable person, able to do pretty much anything from anywhere. So... I challenge you, readers. What'cha packin'?


  1. My purse weighs in at about 20 pounds today because we just got got back from an overnight stay.
    1 Asus mini (though I left the external cd drive at home)
    1 cell phone (also mp3 player)
    1 ebookwise ebook reader
    1 plug for Asus
    1 thumbdrive
    2 notebooks
    7 Fictionista pens
    1 hairbrush
    1 compact
    1 chapstick
    1 zipper pocket filled with dramamine, tylenol, pepto, allergy meds, tampons, bandaids, hairbands and clips
    1 checkbook
    eyeglasses in case of contact lense fail
    business cards--mine and those I've collected from other authors
    oh yeah, and a wallet

    The purse is sort of a metallic bronze job I found at a boutiqe in Seattle. I don't usually buy name brand bags, though I wouldn't pass up last year's white Juicy Couture bag with the silver buckles if Santa sent me one. Coach and Louis Vuitton do zero interest for me.

  2. Damn.

    That is all!


  3. Charlotte McClain5:53 PM

    I love a challenge that allows me to clean out my purse at the same time.

    Last January's Reader's Digest
    2 pair of sunglasses (tossing one)
    A wad of napkins (travel overseas and you learn to carry your own toilet paper)
    car keys
    lip balm
    lipstick (summer color, gotta switch)
    Chocolate flavored mints
    cardboard that my last house key came on
    Fresh Nap
    huge nail clippers (have to take those out before the next flight. I might take over the plane with them.)
    Walmart receipt
    Spiffy wallet from Thailand
    Pieces of wallet from Thailand that have fallen off
    Brochure about Akron U's TESOL program
    Frog coin purse
    Envelope full of gift cards
    Origins hand lotion
    Purell hand sanitizer
    Inside a plastic pill bottle: 25 sentimo coin from the Philippines and 2 fortunes (Never smell the inside of a hat and Wow! A secret message from your teeth!)
    Sea bands
    map of the local National Parks
    Bus schedule
    Hand mirror
    Tape measure
    eye glasses fix-it kit

    The purse itself I bought at the flea market in Dongdaemun

    Horrifying how much of this stuff I actually need.

    And I still can't stage a military invasion. McGuyver would be so disappointed in me.

  4. HOLY CRAP you have a lot of stuff in your purse!!! LOLOL

  5. For years, I refused to carry a purse. I figured if it didn't fit in my pockets, I don't need it. But now I have a kid.

    In my purse that looks like a mini military duffle bag:

    Palm Pilot
    Tiny spiral notebook
    3 suckers (red, green and orange)
    Tiny bottle of hand sanitizer
    Hair elastic
    2 tampons
    Rat Fink ( keychain thingy that The Boy likes to play with

  6. I use to carry a lot of stuff, and had a huge wonderful bag. But I have a bad back and my loving db started fusing at me for my suitcase as he calls it.

    He would lift it and his eyes would dramatically open wide, "No wonder you complaining about your back."

    Now I carry a smallish purse and my check book wallet combo, lip stick, tums, pads and not much else.

    I envy you your big bag.

  7. I know I've got at least 8 different shades of lipgloss.

  8. This is my favorite fun blog to read. Always guaranteed to laugh.