Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Powerful Friends

I like having powerful friends. I don't mean I lunch with Donald Trump, I mean I have friends who support me no matter what I wear or choose to eat or not eat, no matter what kind of car I drive, the size of my house, what my parents do for a living...sorry, that was a brief slide into high school. Where those things seemed to matter to some people.

I remember high school pretty well. I wasn't exactly awash in friends. I had some and they were good ones, but it was a very small group. And most of them didn't have friends beyond that group either. Why didn't I have more friends? Why wasn't I one of the popular kids? Well, I was smart and didn't hide it. I was taller than most. I didn't wear the popular clothes, I wore stuff bought in NYC when my mom and I made our buying trips for my parents' clothing store. I wasn't a cheerleader or in band. I didn't play any sports. I spent a lot of time in the library.

Things are so different now. I have a lot of friends...I mean a lot. People know who I am. They like me. They value my opinion. What's changed? Let's see...I'm still smart and taller than most. I still sometimes wear outrageous things. I'm still not a cheerleader and I still think the library is cool.

So what's changed? I no longer feel like an outsider. If anything I feel like an insider. Maybe that's the clue. What do you think? Has the quality of your friendships changed since you grew up?

8 comments:

  1. I think as I mature (hahaha), the big difference in my friendship seems to be that I stay far away from the toxic friendships I used to endure.

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  2. Yes yes what Gwen said. :)

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  3. I have always had lots of friends but the difference between now and then is that now I don't try so hard to make people like me. You either do (because you're fun and smart) or you don't (because you lack personality and intelligence). I surround myself with people who make me a better person and I hope I do the same for my friends.

    Great topic, K.

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  4. Now that's a post I can get behind! Yes, the quality of my friendships have changed. At one point my friendships defined who I was, but eventually I was able to break away from that and find myself in myself. In that process I lost the closeness I had in a few relationships, but I don't regret that at all. I'm so grateful for the time that's passed - I wish I'd been able to get to where I am now sooner. What is it about young teenagers needing to be accepted by their peers? We all seem to do it in one way or another.

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  5. I'm proud to call you a friend, Kristen! Wish I had known you in high school. = )

    I, too, have a lot of friends and a lot of people know me. I think what's different from then (growing up) and now, is I don't try so hard. Growing up, I was an outsider (northerner in the south) and was considered "different" so I did everything I could to fit in and be accepted. Even ditching my New England accent for a Southern one. I was in the band, and, yes, I was a cheerleader. It was really important for me to fit in and as much as I tried and probably did fit in, I was always considered an outsider.

    Now, I don't care about whether I'll fit in or not. I am who I am (okay Popeye) and if people like me, they like me and if they don't, well, that's fine, too.

    Too bad it takes like four decades to learn this, eh?

    = )

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  6. Great topic, Kristen!

    I agree...the difference between my teen years and now is that I don't try so hard now. You either like me or not.

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  7. What Gwen said. LOL. I do avoid toxic relationships more and have learned better how to recognize them.

    I think my friendships have changed, definitely. In some ways, I miss feeling uber-super close to someone, but in a way, you DO lose yourself and your own identity in relationships like that.

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  8. The quality of my old friendships have improved, I think setting the standard for my new friendships. Life in the military does funny things to a person's priorities...friendship is high on that list. Especially when those friendships mean the difference between life and death. Yeah, I'd say the quality of my friendships have indeed changed.

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