Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Powerful Friends

I like having powerful friends. I don't mean I lunch with Donald Trump, I mean I have friends who support me no matter what I wear or choose to eat or not eat, no matter what kind of car I drive, the size of my house, what my parents do for a living...sorry, that was a brief slide into high school. Where those things seemed to matter to some people.

I remember high school pretty well. I wasn't exactly awash in friends. I had some and they were good ones, but it was a very small group. And most of them didn't have friends beyond that group either. Why didn't I have more friends? Why wasn't I one of the popular kids? Well, I was smart and didn't hide it. I was taller than most. I didn't wear the popular clothes, I wore stuff bought in NYC when my mom and I made our buying trips for my parents' clothing store. I wasn't a cheerleader or in band. I didn't play any sports. I spent a lot of time in the library.

Things are so different now. I have a lot of friends...I mean a lot. People know who I am. They like me. They value my opinion. What's changed? Let's see...I'm still smart and taller than most. I still sometimes wear outrageous things. I'm still not a cheerleader and I still think the library is cool.

So what's changed? I no longer feel like an outsider. If anything I feel like an insider. Maybe that's the clue. What do you think? Has the quality of your friendships changed since you grew up?


  1. I think as I mature (hahaha), the big difference in my friendship seems to be that I stay far away from the toxic friendships I used to endure.

  2. Yes yes what Gwen said. :)

  3. I have always had lots of friends but the difference between now and then is that now I don't try so hard to make people like me. You either do (because you're fun and smart) or you don't (because you lack personality and intelligence). I surround myself with people who make me a better person and I hope I do the same for my friends.

    Great topic, K.

  4. Now that's a post I can get behind! Yes, the quality of my friendships have changed. At one point my friendships defined who I was, but eventually I was able to break away from that and find myself in myself. In that process I lost the closeness I had in a few relationships, but I don't regret that at all. I'm so grateful for the time that's passed - I wish I'd been able to get to where I am now sooner. What is it about young teenagers needing to be accepted by their peers? We all seem to do it in one way or another.

  5. I'm proud to call you a friend, Kristen! Wish I had known you in high school. = )

    I, too, have a lot of friends and a lot of people know me. I think what's different from then (growing up) and now, is I don't try so hard. Growing up, I was an outsider (northerner in the south) and was considered "different" so I did everything I could to fit in and be accepted. Even ditching my New England accent for a Southern one. I was in the band, and, yes, I was a cheerleader. It was really important for me to fit in and as much as I tried and probably did fit in, I was always considered an outsider.

    Now, I don't care about whether I'll fit in or not. I am who I am (okay Popeye) and if people like me, they like me and if they don't, well, that's fine, too.

    Too bad it takes like four decades to learn this, eh?

    = )

  6. Great topic, Kristen!

    I agree...the difference between my teen years and now is that I don't try so hard now. You either like me or not.

  7. What Gwen said. LOL. I do avoid toxic relationships more and have learned better how to recognize them.

    I think my friendships have changed, definitely. In some ways, I miss feeling uber-super close to someone, but in a way, you DO lose yourself and your own identity in relationships like that.

  8. The quality of my old friendships have improved, I think setting the standard for my new friendships. Life in the military does funny things to a person's priorities...friendship is high on that list. Especially when those friendships mean the difference between life and death. Yeah, I'd say the quality of my friendships have indeed changed.