I don't think I've talked about my sister Lisa on the Fictionistas blog yet. Which is a shame, because she's truly provided me lots of fodder for my stories. See, Lisa is like me, but cracked out to the nth degree (no, she's not REALLY on crack--she's just crazy talk, like the rest of the women in my family, LOL).
Anyway, my sister has held a variety of jobs to date, including:
--telemarketer for accidental death and dismemberment insurance
--leech cage cleaner in a pharmacy
--night security for a trucking company
--middle school sub for an art class (*shudder*)
Right now, Lisa works as a criminal justice/paralegal teacher at a local college, because her BA (in liberal arts), involved schooling in these areas. But she's ready to move on to bigger and better things--and what would be better than a career in criminal justice, her main area of interest?
However, my sister has a few specifications for any job she undertakes:
1. no involuntary body secretions or oozing (blood/sweat/etc.)
2. she should not have to run for her life at any point in the job
3. she should be nowhere near prisoners or shivs
These three factors alone rule out, like, 95% of all criminal justice jobs, LOL. So what about the other 5% that's left? Well, the rest of her specifications should knock those out quite nicely:
4. nothing that requires science on a middle-grade level or higher
5. nothing that requires a sense of direction
6. no math
However, Lisa thinks she has stumbled across the ideal criminal justice job for her: deputy coroner. Basically, she'd work with the coroner and medical examiner's office to determine how a person died.
And what's even scarier? My sister would be issued a GUN and would have the right to arrest people. She's stoked, because there's no training camp/physical fitness test required, which means no sweating (see rule #1). My mom is FREAKING OUT.
My sister. With a gun. AND the right to arrest people? God help us all. LOL.
So, what about you? Do you have any job specifications? Share with the group!!