Monday, August 18, 2008

the perfect mate

When I was a kid, I used to daydream about my perfect mate. I had a checklist of criteria he had to meet before I would even consider accepting him as a lifelong partner.

  1. He had to be at least 6 ft tall. I'm not dainty and I wanted my man to make feel feminine. In my mind that meant he had to be tall.
  2. He didn't have to come from money, but he had to be headed toward money. I had a certain lifestyle I wanted to achieve and money would be required.
  3. He had to adore me because frankly, everyone should adore me. I'm awesome.
  4. He had to make me laugh.
  5. He had to be willing to name a son Ian.
  6. He had to love his momma but not be a momma's boy.
That was it. My checklist for my perfect guy.

Now, when I started seriously dating, I can tell you very quickly started to see the error in my list. My first serious boyfriend was only 5'9. Great guy. We dated for a long time, but he was not the man I would marry. Aside from his height, he met most of my original requirements. Apparently, he eventually had a kid and even named him Ian.

Before I met Fishdog, I dated a few others. I really did want a tall guy. I mean, *rowr* I love me some tall men. I even met one guy who met all of my requirements...but he still wasn't the man for me.

I decided maybe it was time toss the checklist. Obviously I had not figured out the list to love.

Then I met Fishdog. I was on a date (yes, a date) with another guy (who I never would've gone out with if I still used my list of love). When Fishdog walked in, I told my girlfriend "That's the man I'm going to marry." (even though he was only 5'10)

One and a half years later, I became Mrs. Fishdog. And I've made a new list of love:

  1. He had to adore me because frankly, everyone should adore me. I'm awesome.
  2. He had to make me laugh. Alot.
  3. He had to be willing to name a son Ian.
  4. He had to love his momma but not be a momma's boy
  5. He had to respect my need for independence.
  6. He had to love me for me and not expect me to change.
  7. He had to make me laugh. Alot.
I like my new list a lot better.


  1. Anonymous11:31 AM

    That's so cute. I love it when people in happy marriages talk about their relationships. It's the cutest thing.


  2. aw, thanks AJ!

    I love my Fishdog.

  3. I remember watching "Prelude to a Kiss" and thinking that I wanted the kind of love where the man would know if someone else's soul was in my body.

    I think my husband would figure it out pretty quickly. My ex--not so much so.

  4. i much prefer being associated with this list rather than your shit list.

    you are the sun my world revolves around and i gleefully bask in your beams of awesomeness.


  5. Love this post Mel. Lists get much better as we get wiser.

  6. Oh, I had a list. A ridiculous laundry list of things. Oddly enough, my freshman year of college, I dated a guy that filled all of my requirements. He was a jerk, that wasn't on my list.

    My high school boyfriend had a sense of humor which I realized matter more to me than height or eye color. I married him 15 years ago, and I have never regretted that. There is a country song that says it all, "Thank God, for Unanswered Prayers." And I do.

    Hold on to Fishdog, Mel. He fills a much more important list, husband, father, lover.

  7. I love the new list, too!! So cute!!!