Friday, May 16, 2008
Some people really know how to be a good friend. Some people know how to be a really good enemy. And some people know how to be both at the same time. Those people are called frenemies. And Paris Hilton is their patron saint.
Paris and Nicole. Paris and Britney. Paris and Lindsay. Paris and Kim. If you can count on one thing, it's that you can't count on her to be a good friend.
It isn't just a socialite conundrum either. And frenemies know no age or gender bias. So, where do frenemies come from?
There are two kinds of frenemy relationships: real friends who pretend to be fighting, and real enemies who pretend to be friends. Relationships are complex. Sometimes it's a simple matter of two people who don't really care for each other but have other friends in common. Sometimes it's more complex--you need to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Other times, it's a competetive situation where you are forced to co-exist (say in the workplace) but know that person is really after your promotion. Whatever the reason, the water is awfully hard to navigate.
When I was in high school, my best friend had two best friends--and I found her other friend very intimidating. We were opposite in a lot of ways and never really spent much time together, which made it difficult for my friend (she always felt she had to choose between us) and hard for me because I was jealous. A year after we graduated, the "other" and I ended up working in the same place and our mutual friend had moved away--and wouldn't you know it--we actually got quite close. To this day, she is one of my favorite people. (By the way, my best friend is still best friends with both of us, and is quite bitter that we put her through all those years of angst when we ended up friends anyway.)
So I had a happy ending, but the middle sure sucked. What about you? Do you (or did you) have a frenemy? And how do you or did you handle it?
And thanks to everyone for entering our book giveaway yesterday. Amanda wrote out all the names of the commenters and drew brittany ridges!!! Congratulations brittany, and please email firstname.lastname@example.org with your full name and mailing address so we can mail you your copy of IT'S ALL ABOUT US.