Monday, April 14, 2008

take a look at your boyfriend...

When I was in high school, the teachers often sat us in alphabetical order. (have they gotten any more creative?) Oftentimes, the people you were sitting between were the people you were stuck with for the rest of the year.

My maiden name was McKenzie. In 9th grade, I had 3 classes in a row with Denton McDonald. It didn't take us too long to hit it off and hook up. Life was good.

Denton was my first boyfriend ever. We had a great time until I got grounded. (I can't remember WHY I got grounded. Probably made a B- on my report card or something.) Anyway, Denton moved on and I was stuck behind him for the rest of the year.

Of course, it was over another girl. If he couldn't see me, he had to see somebody, right?

It all worked out in the end. We became friends and remained friends. I actually had lunch with him the other day. He's a great guy. He's been married for 20 years (I'm only at 15 years this week) and has two kids, one who's about to graduate high school. (incidentally, I'm also good friends with "the other woman", too.)

What's the point of all this? Don't let the melodrama of high school ruin something potentially good. I've had a friendship for 24 years now because I was able to move on from the drama. So many times, I watch folks get so wrapped up in the minutia that they lose sight of the big picture.

If you know you have a penchant for melodrama--then my advice is not to date anyone assigned to sit in front or behind you. Otherwise, it will be a long year.

Here are some little known facts about my 9th grade love affair stolen from my personal blog:

  1. Denton gave me my first hickey.
  2. He was the boy I made out with in the sheep barn at the state fair. (which is where #1 occurred) It's been 23 years and I still think of him when I see any state fair commercial.
  3. We had school pictures the next day and I had to do my very best to hide my hickey. I still have that awful picture, which will NEVER be posted. Maybe. We'll see. My hair was so bad...and I was wearing a mauve sweater.
  4. We had 2 songs (don't ask me why I remember this) True, by Spandau Ballet and Islands in a Stream by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton (no, I am not making that up.)
  5. When I first fell for him, he had an afro. It was a perm, but I didn't care, cuz to my little 14 year old heart, it was sexxxy. I have a picture still, somewhere. If I can get him to agree to it, I'm so gonna post it.
  6. He was the only boy I ever wore one of those split heart necklaces with and when we broke up, I threw my heart at him. Sooo dramatic. (like the one pictured, only it said something poignant like, together we are one...)
  7. Our senior year, we fooled around again, but never really dated again.
  8. He was really the only boyfriend I had during all of high school. I dated some, but never really did the whole "relationship" thing. Probably the smartest thing I ever did...
There you go. Little known facts that probably could've stayed swept under the rug.


  1. Wow, thank you for sharing all those facts about your high school bf! It's crazy what you can remember about the guy who meant something to you back then.

    I tended to date guys in band because I was in band. LOL

  2. I never dated anyone I sat next to. I agree that would make for some awkwardness for the rest of the year after you break up. Kinda like dating a coworker.

    I bumped into my very first boyfriend on the Metro a year or two ago. It was super weird. We dated in 7th grade and then broke up at the end of the summer right before we started 8th grade, because his family moved to a different state.

    Anyway, when we bumped into one another, it was the first time I'd seen him in probably 15 or 16 years, so I was amazed he recognized me. I'm fairly confident I don't still look 13.

  3. A little over a year ago, I ran into an my ex-husbands's house.

    That was weird.

    Apparently, their girlfriends are friends, so they were watching the game when I was picking up the kids.

    I tell you, it was a surreal moment. My first thought was "are they talking about me?" I was conflicted...a part of me wanted to get the heck out of there, and a part of me wanted to stay to make sure I could steer the conversation.

  4. rhonda, I think I remember all that because he was the first significant boy in my life. I really didn't date much in HS after denton. Mostly, I was in love with a boy who didn't love me back, so I became his best friend. (he was in my wedding, btw)

    Amanda, Of course he remembered you! You're not that easy to forget. :) 13 or not...

    Gwen, I totally would've sat my butt down and steered the conversation. I wouldn't have been able to help myself.

  5. How funny that you blogged about this. I found out yesterday that my first serious boyfriend is married to a couggar. He's 28, she's 38.

  6. so ten years makes a cougar? Really? cuz I thought it was more like 15-20.

    BTW--I would totally be a cougar if I wasn't happily married. Now I just have to settle for MILF. LMAO.

  7. I didn't date much in high school. I had a string of boyfriends in junior high, but never had a true boyfriend in high school. Like Mel, I was in love with a guy who was in love with someone else. We're actually pretty good friends now (we worked together on a committee a few years ago and still keep in touch...we've got a lot in common...he's also a lawyer who wants to write fiction someday, but he's too chicken...and if he's reading this, he knows who I'm talking about).

    But it's totally a good thing we never dated. As much as I had a ginormous crush on him, in retrospect, I don't see how we could have ever possibly worked as a couple. We probably would have killed one another. Not a pretty sight.

  8. I have no idea actually. I'm more annoyed by the fact that I misspelled cougar. At least I didn't misspell the word mispelled, that would be REALLY annoying. LOL.

    He's actually a decent guy, he had major family trauma when we were dating and it was the reason we broke up. I hope he's really happy with her.

    I interrogated our mutual friend when I found out and it sounds like she's a good one. YAY

  9. I’m not friends with my first boyfriend, and thank God, because he was a total jerk, but I was so young and unintelligent it took me a while to realize it.

    But I did remain friends for a while with one of my ex’s (until he moved to another state and we lost contact). He was a great guy and a terrific friend (we were friends before we dated), but just not 'the one' for me. I’m thankful we were able to end the romantic relationship civilly and remain friends--that’s not always possible. And now you got me thinking about him! I’m probably going to spend the rest of the day wondering what happened to him.

    I heard a song on the radio a few weeks ago that automatically transported me back to the age of 17, because it was the song playing when I danced for the first time with boyfriend #2 (the first guy to break my heart). I snapped out my trip down memory lane when the announcer described the song as an 'oldie' and said, "It was a #1 song 27 years ago". Then I was just thinking, "Damn, I’m old" LOL

    Gwen--OMG! That’s not a situation I’d ever want to be in.

  10. I had no boyfriends in jr high or high school. In fact, I was in my third year of college before I had one that stuck. I was a late bloomer.

  11. I have a pictue of Fishdog with an afro, I'm sure it's not as sexy as Denton though. Oh, and I went to an all girls school so thank god I didn't date anyone THERE! Ha!

  12. Robyn, Fishdog's momma still has that picture hanging in her hallway. You're right--in 9th grade, I think Denton was a bit sexier than my hubby. I'm going to say it was the football uniform that gave Denton the edge. LOL

  13. Love the memories and memory lane. I guess my first boyfriend was a guy named Scott. It didn't last long, but I still remember the long phone calls, my giggling and trying to sound grownup (he was one year older than me) and the kisses in the back of the movie theater. ::sigh:: We never had a song together.

    But with subsequent boyfriends I did. And if I hear those songs today, I get a little skip of the heart.


  14. I'm not too surprised she has that picture still hanging. It's hard to let go of the most humiliating things your kids ever did to themselves. I'm sure my Mom would have the one of me and lee in the blue satin shirts still up. I guess they got lost in one of the moves? cough. cough.

  15. My high school boyfriend was jazz bassist with a soul patch. I am not making this up. We were in theater together, played husband and wife in several different plays, and fell into that Hollywood trap of believing in our onstage chemistry. It never really went anywhere, and I've totally lost track of him now, but, weirdly, I still sometimes have dreams about him.

  16. Lol, wow, I just got out of the whole high school experience last May. I graduated from Bonner Springs High. I know all schools have drama, but seriosuly, I think Bonner could put them all to shame. I don't remember a single week when there wasn't at least one fight or one of my girl friends sobbing over their other friends or their boyfriends. Our teachers were less creative (more dumb, on their part) with the seating arrangements. We got to pick our own seats in most classes. So all of the cliques sat together. I tended to date people from my group, like, we'd get a new guy and someone from my group would be the first to talk to him (we were always nice to newbies) so he'd get a group invite and ta da, I had a new potential boyfriend. lol. I also went for my guy friends' friends. They were almost always cute. my friends had good taste, lol. I was a serial dater, my relationships only lasted a few months or so. I didn't see the point in falling in lurve with someone I knew I probably wouldn't see once I graduated. That was probably the best thing I ever did. lol. I am SO glad to be out of there. You have no idea.

  17. Jaded,

    I DO have an idea. I think everyone feels that way when they get out of high school. Luckily, I have a few *koff* years to look back now and realize that for me, high school (even the drama) wasn't all bad. I know a lot of people don't feel that way. But I am grateful I can look back fondly. And I am really grateful I still have some good friends from HS.

    I agree, the smartest thing you can do is not date anyone too seriously and then when you go to college (or whatever lifepath you choose) you'll have a better chance of finding someone who suits the person you're becoming, not the person you were during those teen angst years.

  18. He probably secretly pines for you.

    Now, btw, I have Supertramp in my head.


  19. It's no secret. LMAO.

    I'm glad I'm not the only one singing Supertramp...