Okay, maybe that title is a bit melodramatic, but when you're sixteen and eager to find true love, a disappointing date is like a kick in the solar plexus.
And I had many a non-perfect date back in my day. Ah, I remember one classic date, where I was totally, utterly crushing on a guy--I thought he was so freaking cute, and I couldn't believe we were going to go out!
We went to see some movie, laughed and talked and enjoyed our time together, and at the end of the date...he shook my hand.
Yes, SHOOK MY HAND.
Shaking hands to cement a business merger? Rock on. Shaking hands when introducing yourself to someone? Absolutely.
But to end a date? He might as well have chucked me on the chin. LOL.
Well, needless to say, that was our first and last date.
I've had other disappointing dates, too, as well as outright bad ones--like the time I was stood up for two hours on a double date--and when the jerk finally showed, he spent the whole evening making fun of me with my friend's date...then, had the nerve to ask me at the end of the night, "So, am I getting a kiss, or what?"
RIIIIIIGHT. What a pair on that guy!
So, anyone else have any really disappointing or bad dates to share? Commisserate with me!
oh honey...I had my share. Let me tell ya. Like the guy who finally showed up (2 hours late) picked me up, took me to a movie then to Pizza Hut (yes, Pizza Hut) and proceeded to show me how he liked to eat like a dog. No hands. He bent over his plate and ate directly from the dish. I was completely flummoxed.
ReplyDeleteAnd then I had this blind date. my best friend's boyfriend from another school set me up with his good friend. Um, dude had some skank mouth going on. Brown teeth and wandering hands. *shudder*
OMG Mel...that's just hot. hahahaha. Yeah, those are definitely two winners! ROFL
ReplyDeleteI remember this one night in high school when I was visiting relatives in South Carolina. I have a guy cousin about 9 months older than me, so he suggested I go out with him and his friends.
ReplyDeleteI just figured we were all gonna hang out, but when my cousin showed up at my grandparents' house to pick me up, some guy gets out and introduces himself as my date. Um, ok, cool. He was kinda cute. No problem.
So me, the random guy, my cousin, and his girlfriend drive to some field in the middle of nowhere. When we get there, we're greeted by their other friends and a cooler of beer. OK, whatever. I knew my cousin drank. I can't stand beer, so I took a Coke and joined everyone.
About 5 minutes later, my cousin and his girlfriend disappear and I'm left with the random guy and the other random friends. The guy totally ignores me while he parties with his friends, and doesn't bother to introduce me. Which, in all fairness, wasn't really his responsibility, because, well, duh. He just met me. It should have been my cousin's job to make me feel welcome, but well, he was off making his girlfriend feel welcome.
After about an hour of ignoring me, some of the other kids starting pairing off to go make out. So random guy turns to me and out of nowhere actually says "Um, I forgot a rubber."
Excuse me? What exactly made you think I was going to sleep with you?
I made him take me home.
I forgot a rubber.
ReplyDeleteOh. That's a shame cuz you were totally gonna get laid. Um. What was your name again?
Seriously. What a toad.
Sharing is caring, right?
ReplyDeleteMy best worst date was when a guy took me to a Japanese restaurant. So, there we are, sitting on the floor eating with chopsticks. Fine, I can use chopsticks. No problem at all.
Except that I also talk with my hands.
In the middle of a particularly animated bit of conversation, I have put the chopstick down with the end protruding over the edge of the table. To emphasize a point, I bring my hand right down onto the chopstick, sending it somersaulting like a lethal weapon over my head and onto the table behind.
Into a complete stranger's food.
I bet their date was better than mine. They certainly had something to talk about.
R
ROFL, rflong!!!!! I bet that was memorable!
ReplyDeleteOh, and about the random guy I went out with, maybe he thought he was gonna get laid because, well, after all, I was related to my cousin...the school's biggest male slut.
Sorry, no stories to share, but I'm loving yours.
ReplyDeleteAmanda--ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!? Dude...that's just...dude.
ReplyDeleteRF--OMG that's hilarious...TEE HEE!!
Mel--it's all good. Reading is fun, too! haha
I didn't date in high school. I was the girl who was friends with the guys...you know....gave them advice about girls etc. Not the one they actually asked out.
ReplyDeleteSigh. I never had any dates in high school, so I'll just enjoy everyone else's angst.
ReplyDeleteGwen, Kristen--no dates, really? Oy...I hate to say, but given the dates on here, it sounds like you didn't miss out on too much. LOL
ReplyDeleteKristen and Gwen, what about bad dates after high school? Trust me, bad dates are something we can relate to at ANY age! LOL!
ReplyDeleteWell, I did once answer a personal ad...um...I think I can sum that date up with this statement: he introduced me to his pet cockroach. No, that is not a euphemism. He really did have a pet cockroach. It was the star of a film he was making.
ReplyDeleteTop that.
Kristen--man, that's awesome. Did he at least offer you a supporting role in the movie? ROFL
ReplyDeleteOK, I really can't top that. I seriously hope you're using that in a book.
ReplyDeleteI went out with one guy...he was older than me. I didn't realize how old until he started talking about the war. Since it was 1989, and there was no war...I realized he was talking about Vietnam. Which meant he was my dad's age.
ReplyDeleteSkeeve factor high.
Lol, these are great. I'm just recently out of highschool, but that only makes the memories fresher, lol.
ReplyDeleteThis story isn't all that bad, but I haven't really had a lot of bad dates. I usually only go out with safe bets, lol.
So, my friend Erik decided he was going to help me find a "keeper" and he mentioned that he had a friend named Andy who had seen me once after school and thought I was "a looker" so Erik sets it up and he and his girlfriend (who was my bf) and me and Andy all went to a skate park.
I was excited cuz I love me some skaters and I knew a couple of board tricks. Well, we got there and I actually knew quite a few people and I entroduced Andy to them, I'm nice like that. Well, he took full advantage and started introducing himself as my boyfriend! I didn't take kindly to that considering I had only met him like 20 minutes ago and was just intorducing him to MY friends because it's the nice thing to do.
When he was out of ear shot, I made sure to clarify to everyone that he wasn't my boyfriend and that I'd only known him for half an hour. So he comes back and slings an arm over my shoulders says, "K babe, I'm back" and slaps a wet one on me. I pushed him away and hid amongst my skater friends for the rest of the night, then I had my friend Krissy take me home. What made it worse was he had beer breath. I hate beer. It was the most disgusting kiss I've had to this day. I dubbed him Chin Kisser and Erik was at the top of my shit list for weeks. He still isn't allowed to share his opinion on my love life. Lol.
Oh Jaded! Bad kisses are the worst. I told my 14 year old son the other day that a bad kiss could end a relationship.
ReplyDeleteIn 8th grade I danced with one of the hot guys at a party and was so excited when he kissed me. Unfortunately, to this day, I still call him camel tongue. DISGUSTING.
Jaded Bee--that is horrible...and kinda funny...no horrible. LOL.
ReplyDeleteMelly? What the heck is a camel tongue?
Gwen, I think it's like camel toe, but higher.
ReplyDeleteIt was like kissing this:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.thesolvents.net/press/photos/Acts/Tongue-Hi.jpg
ohmyGawd
ReplyDeleteeggsactly.
ReplyDeleteI don't care how hot you are--nobody is hot enough to forgive camel tongue...
Gwen--HAHAHAHAHAHA...OMG that's a RIOT about the older guy dating you. "Back in aught eight, I was a young whippersnapper..."
ReplyDeleteJaded--what is it with guys like that who think they can act like you're dating when you just met?!?! Ugh...that's gross.
Mel--camel tongue? ROFL--naaaasty.
OMG these are great. In high school I had one boyfriend. He never even asked me out. We hit it off and made out one night on the beach, and that was that.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was home on summer break from college though... *giggle* my bff Roxy (HEYA ROXAAAAAAAAAY!) was completely sadistic and set me up for a date with a guy named Richard Headman.
Yah. Me.
Three guesses what I called that poor slob all night.
Lol, it was pretty horific. He even tried to come up and see me when I got off school. I told him I was grounded for 2 months for sneaking out and getting wasted. He believed it and I didn't see him again. Thank gersh.
ReplyDeleteHa ha, camel tongue. That's about the equivelant of Andy. When you got done kissing him, you had to wipe your chin and around your mouth. It was nasty, I'd have rathered kissing my dog.