Friday, July 03, 2009
Set yourself free
Happy Independence Day!
I know, I know--it's tomorrow.
As a kid, I really LOVED this holiday. The parades, the picnics, and the fireworks.
Then I had a bad experience as a young adult. I got dumped in a surprising reversal of fortune, because only hours earlier, everything had been just fine. July 3rd, Mr. Dumper and his friends had been at Casa de Gwen with my friends. It got really late and I had to work at 6am--but only a quick four hour shift. Who needs sleep right? We all pulled an all nighter in my living room. Mr. Dumper and his friends watched movies on my couch until about 4am at which time I made a potato salad and got ready for work---this way I could go directly from work to Mr. Dumper's house for his Fourth of July BBQ. We were not "going steady" but we were totally moving that direction.
Sometime between 4 am and 11 am, Mr. Dumper decided he'd changed his mind. Only instead of telling me, he just sort of ....avoided me. At first, I thought he was just busy being host. I mean--he kissed me goodbye at 4 am, what could have happened? As the day wore on, it became clear I'd been dumped without the benefit of being dumped. What is worse, he was spending A LOT of time with his ex-girlfriend. I had to pretend I was having a great time at this stupid BBQ after zero sleep the night before.
I wish I could say the experience emboldened me--and that from then on Independence Day really meant something to me about my own independence. Instead, the experience caused me to really think I needed a guy in my life to be worth anything. It took a long time for me to come around.
So, my hope for you, gentle reader, is that no matter what stage of life brought you to this blog, no matter what country you are from--July 4th is a day to take stock in YOUR freedom too. Your independence from "you should" or "if only". Happy Independence day to the person you are inside.