Gonna Go Back In Time

This is one of those things that makes you go... "and they can't make my cell phone work anywhere in Green Harbor???" I went in last week (Friday) for my regular show-down and had an EKG, blood work, and some other annoyances. Usually I am not surprised by medical science, since Ahmed likes to lecture on long drives or... well pretty much any time. I try hard to tune it out but somehow absorb stuff involuntarily.

But... DUDE! ... they can tell when you've had a heart attack after you've had it. Chemicals, muscular movement, fluid present in places it's not allowed, etc. I mean, I'm pretty sure I did the deer-in-headlights routine when they were explaining the salient details because I was just impressed by the technology.

Anyway, this revelation wasn't one. My other medical stuff does, actually, make me more vulnerable to heart attack and I'm constantly being told I'm incredibly lucky to keep dodging the bullet. I've never been a scientifically minded person, so I just believe them by default when they say things like that. And when they say things like "try to avoid stress" I giggle, because it's a pretty dumb thing for a smart person to say. Seriously? I just had a heart attack. It was a wimpy one, and I'm glad, but do you really think avoiding stress is going to be in my playbook?

Have you met my family? See the dude in the corner glaring at me? Plus I gotta trim the dog's nails and that's a carnival ride all on its own. I'll pencil in the "no stress" thing but I'm not making promises.

Also, apparently this was a "good" heart attack. OK, now when did they get those? Did anyone tell Dick Cheney? Maybe he already knows, because that dude is never going to die... I mean I am semi-convinced he's bionic at this point. But they do, according to the smart sciencey people, have good ones. No plaque, minimal damage, and I didn't drop dead. I sort of tuned out while frowning to myself and pondering the words "good heart attack." If I figure that out I'll get back to you.

Anyway, I just think it's pretty neat they can tell. It's like time travel. Only not, but kind of. And I guess asking me AFTER the heart attack to avoid stress is asking me to do a little time travel, too. Fire up the Delorean! I'm going back in time!