Funny Facebook statuses

I found this website that has really funny facebook status ideas. Here are a few of my favs:

--In this world, there are 3 kinds of people: people who can count, and people who can't count.

--wondersifanyoneknowswhatthelongstickatthebottomofthekeyboardisfor?

--is proofreading to make sure she hasn’t any words out.

--1 of my nipples is a different color than the other 2--is that normal?

--I hate being bipolar...it's awesome!!!

--For the past hour, I've done some heavy duty reflecting, dreaming, planning, laughing, crying and thinking. Then it hit me: I have GOT to get out of this shower and get ready for work.

--Behind every successful man is a woman rolling her eyes.

--once your pants catch on fire, the fact that you just lied will become less important.

--sometimes i just don't have enough middle fingers to let people know how i feel....

--The great thing about Facebook is that you can quote someone and totally make up the source. (Ghandi 1937)

--When i'm sad I cut myself...another slice of cheesecake

So, if you're on twitter or facebook or another social networking site, where do you get your ideas for status updates?