Dear Girls,

I went to Oxford, MS this weekend. (Actually, I've been the last three weekends as we have a house for sale by owner there and we have to show on the weekends, but I digress.)

So Friday night, I go out with my friends Andrea and Mika. Oxford is a college town and it was a 'game day' weekend, so the square was packed with tons of coeds and frat boys.

And that's when I realized I needed to teach every girl under the age of 25 a lesson.

Less is more.

And I'm not talking about 'less clothing.' I think that's pretty well taken care of as it is. I'm talking about these girls who are out on the town, trying way too hard.

Stilettos, designer jeans, short-shorts or skirts, skin tight tops, too much makeup and way over-done hair.

If there were 500 girls on the square Friday night, 490 of them looked exactly the same.

It was sad. And disconcerting. Not one person really was out there as themselves. And the girls who were trying so damn hard to get a guy to notice them, were going about it all the wrong way.

Because when you slide into those 4 inch heels, and slap on all that makeup, you're not doing it for the guys...you're doing it to impress the other girls.

Here's a well kept secret: Guys could give a shit about all that. Even when you're out clubbing.

It's true.

When I stopped trying so hard, I started getting noticed. I could go out in a cotton tank top, a pair of jeans, and my flip-flops and I would get hit on twice as much as when I went 'all out.' And watching the swarming frat boys on Friday night, guess who they were going for? Not the girls in the glitter and stilettos, but the girls in the shorts and flip-flops.

Guys want girls who are comfortable in their own skin. If you're going out on a Friday night to meet a guy, you need to be yourself. I'm not saying you can't dress up, but don't go over the top and please, try very hard not to look like all your girlfriends. No guy wants to date a Stepford girl. And if he does--I can promise that you don't want to date that guy.

I wish I'd known then...

What I know now about fashion. Man, the 80's were an interesting time in fashion. And since during that decade my parents had a clothing store and I ended up attending a fashion college, I feel like I can speak on this subject.

First, the trends:

The 80's were an exercise in excess and inconsistencies. Super short miniskirts worn with leggings or leg warmers. Religious jewelry draped over corsets and lingerie. Members Only jackets worn by everyone. Fingerless gloves. Giant shoulder pads, massive earrings, oversized tops and big belts. Parachute pants, either skin tight ala Miami Vice or actual parachute-sized ala MC Hammer. There was too much hair, too much make-up, too much jewelry...and that went for both sexes.

Then there were Units. Anyone remember this stellar attempt at fashion? I believe the line consisted of about 6 - 8 main pieces which could supposedly be combined in 100's of ways to make different outfits. Great idea, I guess, but not everyone can wear the same stretchy circle of fabric as a belt, miniskirt, tube top. In fact, we really don't want everyone to.

Having lived through that decade, I'd like to offer you some fashion advice that will carry you through the years:

1. If you don't love it, don't buy it. I don't care if it's on sale for $6.99 down from $75, if a piece of clothing doesn't look good on you, it's not a bargain. All you're doing by purchasing that crap is clogging up your closet with stuff you won't wear and wasting money that could go toward something really nice.

2. Spend big on classics, little on trends. Everyone likes to have the latest thing, and that's fine, just don't blow your budget there or next year, you're going to look last year. Instead, put your money into the stuff that lasts. Classic, tailored pieces like trousers and skirts in neutral colors, good jeans, a crisp white shirt, a little black dress, good black heels. Spend the most you can afford on those things because they will be around forever. Accessorize with the trends and you won't feel so bad ditching them five minutes later when they're no longer hot.

3. Less is more. Buy two $50 shirts instead of 10 for $10. The $50 shirts will be with you long after the $10 shirts have fallen apart in the wash, faded, pilled and started to unravel.

4. Neutrals are anything but. Pick a neutral you love (navy, black, brown, gray) and build from there. One of my favorite outfits is a little black dress with a leopard jacket. A neutral with a pop of color or pattern works every time.

5. Rule of Three. Stick to the rule of three when dressing and accessorizing and you'll never look over done. Take the little black dress and leopard jacket. That jacket is 1, then I add a pair of leopard mules - that's 2, then a leopard ring, that's 3. More leopard than that would be overkill. Apply that rule to evening wear: cocktail dress with (1) sparkly shoes, (2) shoulder-duster earrings and (3) a gold evening bag. You're done! Adding anything else would detract from the pieces you're already wearing.

Now, go forth and shop!

I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty...

If you look at the pics Mel posted yesterday, you might be able to tell that I'm wearing false eyelashes in my "dressed up" pics. Yes, they're a little over the top, but so am I. I'm also wearing body glitter. And platform shoes. Again, over the top - just like me.

See, I LOVE being a girl. Dressing up, wearing makeup, pretty clothes, killer shoes, perfume, jewelry...bring it on! However, in high school, I was clueless about all that stuff. My mom, while a very feminine woman, was a farm girl and didn't have much idea about what to do with a lot of that stuff either. (I eventually taught her about makeup.)

Fortunately, I ended up at a fashion and design college in NYC. I learned a lot - I learned to experiment, to take chances and not care what other people thought, to go out on a limb fashionably speaking. Those years taught me what worked and what didn't. When to push the envelope and when to seal it up neatly.

So yes, I tend to be a little adventurous when it comes to the girly side of life, but false eyelashes never got anyone killed. (That I know of.) Do you take chances when it comes the way you look or do you play it safe? What's the craziest thing you've ever done fashion-wise?