readin', writin', & rhythm

No 'rithmatic around these parts. Nope. I save that for my day job, not my fun job, TYVM.

So, let's get down and dirty and talk about something most everyone experiences but nobody wants to discuss: losing your rhythm.

I've been separated from my husband for a year and a half. It's amicable (I hate that word) We are still very close, still good friends, and there has been very little cause for stress overall.

BUT

It's a huge life change and no matter how great we get along, there is still stress involved. And for the first time in my life, I've found it VERY difficult to read or write.

It's true. Even reading became a chore. And when reading is no longer joyful for me, you know there's a problem.

I've tried over the year to find my rhythm...to get back into my groove. But every time I sat down to read or write, I would suddenly have to balance the check book (something I haven't done in 2 years, thanks to online banking) or clean (something I've never done on purpose unless there was a party) or paint a wall, or dig a ditch, or...well, you get the picture.

Things seem to be changing for me now. I find myself plotting my new story idea in my head and playing with the characters. I'm getting more and more excited about the thought of writing. AND I've actually been reading (though the book I'm reading is kinda boring me right now. Sigh) But the point of all this (and I have one) is that I finally WANT to read and write again.

What do you do when you lose your mojo? People told me to force myself to write, but that made me feel worse. I couldn't make myself do it (now if I had been on deadline, I'm pretty sure that would've been a different story!) I really had to just let it all work out naturally. But it's taken so long, that I feel almost out of sorts now. But NOW is the time that I have to develop my new routine and force myself to stick to it...now that it isn't physically painful to try to write. Thankfully my 'Nistas have sworn to help me...or punish me if I start to slack off. I'll probably start logging my progress in my blogs here, so you guys will know if I'm slacking, too. I never want to disappoint the Internetz!

I Got Nothin'

Whenever I am stumped for something to write about I call one of my friends and say "I'm stumped for something to write about." The thing is... I've actually been at this for a while. I started out writing a regular column at a very young age. Recently I celebrated my 25th anniversary as a paid author. Which means, doing the math, I've been slogging away for 25 years.


Good lord, I'm old.

Anyway, one of the great benefits of being a townie-- which is really just code for "too stubborn to leave or too lazy to move--" is that you keep your friends from childhood. So I have the Fictionistas, Romance Divas, the Sceptics' Tank online and around the country. Great people who share a lot of things in common with me. And I have all the college, work, and social circle friends I've found in adulthood-- people I've gathered along the way who have made my life richer and better. But I also have Roxanne, Maria, Petie, Bill, and Timmy. Most of them I've known since junior high school. I've known Petie since pre-school. We've been friends for 40 years.

So I called the gang.

"I've got nothing."

"You always have something," Roxy said.

"I've got nothing."

"What's going on in your life right now," Petie asked me. "Like... right this second?"

I glared at him. "I'm sitting in a coffee shop with you guys cuz I've got nothing."

Petie leaned over and gave me a noisy, sloppy kiss on the cheek. Roxy leaned over from the other side and did the same.

"You've always got us," he said.

And I do. So thanks, guys. I've got a lot more than nothing. I've got a great man, Max blowing snot in my ear, and writer's block. But no matter what else I have or have not got... I got you, babes. Great friends. Always.

In retrospect... that's an awful lot.

Erm.

It's the bane of a writer's existence, and it comes when we least excpect it. WRITER'S BLOCK. For a long time I insisted that it was a myth. I think that's because I had this notion in my head that writer's block is the same for everyone: an absolute refusal for the brain to create. Since I had never experienced that, I assumed people who got "blocked" were really just experiencing a lazy, or a dry, or a melancholy patch. Boy, was I wrong.

It's out there. Oh, it's out there, people. Lurking. Waiting. In many, many guises.

I never have the "nothing is coming to me" variety. I am plagued by some of the following strains of the virus:

*too many ideas at once
*indecision on which idea(s) to use
*fourteen different directions, none superior to the others
*characters who won't do what I tell them
*muses with big, fat, hairy mouths who won't shut up
*distraction
*too much caffeine
*not enough sleep
*phone calls
*family

I don't know any writer alive (and if you're out there, we soooo want to interview you!!) who doesn't occasionally find him or herself staring at a blank page. In a way it's easier if you have an assignment. Then you can tackle it logically.

Creativity? Creating something out of nothing? Jesus got HUGE publicity for the loaves and fishes thing for a reason, people. It's hard. Cuz, like, there's nothing there, and you have to do the whole "let there be stuff" thing, and even God needed a few days off after his first wack at it.

So step off, k? I'm just ME.

Anyway, when all else fails, I've always favored brain drain... a free writing exercise where you take a blank sheet of paper, set a timer for one minute, and start writing absolutely anythying that comes into your head til the timer goes off. Like this:

ohmygod what the heck am I going to write on fictionistas today I can't think of anytyhing that wouldn't involve some serious googling and research and I totally want to do those things but I've got a bajillion things to do so what can I bang out kind of quickly this week why is it we have all had writer's block lately man that haiku thing gwen did was adorable hey I know I'll writer about writer's block that would work you know I really do type fast because frankly one minute could fill a very significant paragraph for somebody like me and my hands are not even propped correctly on this keyboard I hate it when other people take all the cushy chairs at starbucks when its quite obvious that this is my OFFICE, hello??? but noooo, go ahead and take the cushy chairs you philistines does philistines have one or two Ls I can't remember wow that was a fast minute

How bout you? What shakes the creative juices out of your blender?