I wish I'd known then...

That it wasn't all about how others perceived me, but how I perceived myself, especially in these two areas:

1. I spent a lot of time in high school worrying about my body and physical appearance. I wasn't even overweight--I had a nice figure. But I obsessed over the size of my chest in comparison to others, the shape of my thighs, the size of my nose, and so on. To me, what's sad is that one of my most vivid memories of high school is a guy telling me I looked a little chunky. I mean, come on! Why did I give people like that the time of day and give credence to their words? Who cares if my chest was smaller. Who cares about the size of my thighs. What about my sharp wit, my strong laugh, my big heart? THOSE are the things I should be concerned with, size-wise. THOSE are the things that matter most.

2. I also spent time worrying about my popularity. Dude, when you leave high school, no one in college or out in the real world cares who you hung out with. It's utterly pointless, LOL. Hang with the band nerds if you want. Become president of the chess club. Be the top cheerleader or a football star. The point is, do what YOU want, what works for you. Don't do stuff because you're worried about fitting in. Those 4 years of high school go mighty fast...and they're awfully short in comparison to the rest of your life. Don't let that time period define how you perceive yourself.

I realize it's easy for me to dole advice in this manner. Honestly, all I can share is my own perspective on things. But you know what? That's ok. Part of the struggle, the drive of being a teenager is learning SELF-definition. So take my advice with a grain of salt and forage your OWN path. To me, that would be the best option of all.

i don't get it.

Okay, I totally changed my blog topic for this week. I was going to blog about "judging a book by its cover" but that will have to wait because I need someone to explain to me what the big damn dealio is over Miley Cyrus's Vanity Fair picture.

Can you tell me, because I really don't get it.

How is this picture any different from say, this?

or this?


or this?


Um. Or this?
Can anyone tell me how the first photo is really any different than any of the following? They show the same amount of skin (actually, the Vanity Fair picture shows less skin.) Is it her wet hair? No, that can't be it, because she has wet hair in the bikini picture. (which really shows far more skin than the VF photo) And really, who cares if she has on a bikini, right? if I had her body, your damn-tootin' I'd be sportin' a bikini. Year around.

Some mothers are outraged by the example the VF picture presents to their daughters. I don't understand this line of thinking at all. Have a little faith in the way you're raising your children. Haven't you taught them the difference between real world and TV world? Don't they understand that 'Hannah Montana' is a character and not a real person is there to entertain NOT set an example? Don't the parents understand that Miley Cyrus is a teenage girl who isn't perfect? Who isn't going to be perfect? And in the grand scheme of things, that beautiful photo taken by Annie Leibowitz is really not a big damn deal? Especially since her parents were there the entire time and approved of the photo?

Am I wrong in this line of thinking? So what if the pictures were provocative? They aren't any more provocative than the other pictures where she's vamping it up in high heels, plunging necklines and backless dresses. As a parent, I am offended by these uber-nazi-moms who say that these teen celebrities need to be 'appropriate role models' for their audience. Whatever. The celebrity's job is to entertain. My job as a parent is to make sure my kids know the difference between reality and TV-land. Celebrities should not be shouldering my job. They should just entertain and then be able to live their life, however they choose. And if that means posing for Annie Leibowitz, then so be it.

What do you think? Am I out of my mind?

Do You Suffer From BOF?

BOF is that ickiness that overcomes you when your good jeans are in the wash, your BFF has borrowed that cute top that makes your boobs look bigger than they are and you get stuck wearing the clothes your grandmother bought you last Christmas from Sears. You know you look less then your best, but there's nothing you can do about it. You've got Bad Outfit Feeling.

I definitely suffer from this. There are days when I'll wear something that makes me feel completely schlumpy, but I wear it anyway because I was in a rush or the stuff I wanted to wear wasn't available. Those days I feel less like myself. Less confident. More like I just want to disappear in the crowd. That's Bad Outfit Feeling all over.

Of course, sometimes you get BOF through no fault of your own. You start out feeling great about the dress you picked out for that Must Attend party, but when you get there, someone else is wearing it - and they look better. Or maybe you went casual when everyone else is rockin' semi-formal. Even the right outfit at the wrong time can bring on BOF.

A good outfit can make you smile, put a sway in your hips, make you feel like you own the world. You know what I'm talking about, right? When an outfit comes together and you look cute, you're unstoppable. Boys want you. Girls want to be you. Coolness seeps from your pores. Even your cat stares up at you adoringly.

Have you suffered from BOF? Do you have an outfit that never gives you BOF? Is there a memorable time when BOF set in? Talk to me!