Recurring nightmares

I've been having recurring nightmares recently--they involve my teeth crumbling and falling out of my mouth. It's super creepy, and in my dreams I try to actually force my teeth back into my gums. Of course, that doesn't work out too well, and I'm left feeling anxious and freaked out, covering my mouth with my hands.

So, I looked it up to see what that means. The site BellaOnline says there are multiple reasons why people have this sort of dream, which is apparently WAY more common than I realized. According to the article, the loss of my teeth in the dream, coupled with my anxiety, indicates a fear of transition and change.

This makes perfect sense to me. I'm going through some serious transitions right now. My book just came out a couple of weeks ago, and though I'm happy about it, I'm also stressed and worried about how it's doing. It doesn't help that I'm a total control freak. LOL

In addition, my day job is getting sent overseas this year, so I'm extremely nervous about my pending joblessness. I am, however, searching and applying for jobs. Plus, I'm writing more proposals to try to sell another book. Basically, I'm hanging in there, trying to believe and hope that things will work out.

So, do you ever have recurring dreams? Are they good, bad, scary, and what do they mean to you?

old dreams to new...

When I finished high school, I wanted to be an actress. Not just any actress, I wanted to be a Soap Star. How awesome would it have been if that show "So You Wanna Be a Soap Star" had been around in 1987...

Unfortunately, I let a few naysayers douse my dreamfire in water and it took me a long time to rekindle it. I never lost my desire to act, (If you're ever out with me, you'll see. I am very good at putting on a production. And if you get Kristen and I together? We should charge admission.) but I never pursued acting professionally. I went about my business, got a college degree, and found a job that would pay the bills.

And I was miserable. I did not just want to work to make ends meet. I wanted to enjoy my job.

When I turned 30, we moved out of state--away from friends and family. I did the stay at home mom thing for a while, but I needed some creative stimulation. I was daydreaming a lot. And finally, I started channeling my boredom, imagination and my desire to be an actress into a new creative outlet...writing.

That's where I found that I could be whoever I wanted to be, say whatever I wanted to say, and look like a million dollars. It was a whole new world for me...and a whole new dream.

And it makes me very happy.

I used to think I regreted not running off to become Erika Kane's latest long-lost daughter. But now I realize that's not true. I didn't pursue one dream, only to find myself another one. (and frankly, a better one. I never could've kept myself skinny for that long. I would've been miserable.) If you find yourself hesitating on following a dream, maybe it's not the right dream. Or not the right time. If finances aren't there, or the parents aren't supportive, don't fear. The universe could just be telling you that your time will come later. Just be patient.

But if you feel like the time is now, go for it! I envy your fortitude. Each dream we pursue makes us stronger. This is a case where more is definitely better.

Dream big or stay home. That's my motto.

To the Class of 2008

A while back Australian film magnet Baz Luhrmann (Moulin Rouge, Romeo and Juliet) did a great graduation commencement address that became a musical montage known as "Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen." It can be enjoyed on YouTube HERE. Commencement addresses are among my favorite things. They are delivered around my birthday each year, and are often inspirational, funny, or otherwise memorable. This year one of my almae matres, Harvard University, will be hosting one of my heroes, Jo Rowling.



I loved Baz' sunscreen themed commencement. I love those speakers who talk about hope, possibilities, potential, and even responsibility without being preachy. Bill Cosby has given some doozies.

As for me, I have been quoted by a valedictorian and once wrote a tribute to my professors that I still, occasionally, get a stray email about. "I remember that," my long lost mentor will say. Which is nice. More often than not, ten or twenty years go by and we can no longer recall who said what. We're more likely to recall what we wore or a feeling of pride. Maybe the lilacs were blooming. It's all a blur.

Unless, of course, you are as clever and inspirational as Baz Luhrmann, who is immortalized on YouTube and in the brain of pop-culture trivia addicts like yours-truly.

Here, in any event, are my own hopes for the class of 2008.

Take risks before you have children. After you've had them you have no business taking anything but a multi-vitamin. But risk taking in your youth builds character and teaches fearlessness.

Travel. Do it now, while your body can handle it and you don't have a mortgage.

Wait to marry or have children. You'll be better at both jobs if you give yourself time to grow.

I don't know a single person who regrets actually keeping those promises to keep in touch. Try. These people on either side of you may know all your ugly secrets, but they know your strengths better than you do, and they are better empowered to give you advice than even your closest family members.

Vote, but do it after educating yourself. We have dumb politicians because dumb people voted for them in ignorance. Be educated, and make our country better with your informed decisions.

Thank people who are helpful to you. In the coming years you will be astonished at how often this pays off.

Never waste time on guilt or worry. Neither has any practical use. Make mistakes, but always think about whether your actions will cause you guilt or worry. If they will, don't act. It's possible to do something you know is technically wrong for the right reason. It's possible to make a calculated error hoping to create a better situation. When you are deliberate about your actions, having thought them through, you are released from the wasted pit of guilt and worry. They're bad for you. I'd rather you be an arrogant jerk who is completely confident in your decisions than a neurotic pain in the backside... and you'll live longer.

When in doubt, be generous. You'll probably blow the ten bucks on something you'll forget the next day if you don't drop it into the can that kid is holding. You may never forget the smile you get... and even if you do you'll feel great for a few hours, minimum.

Don't give anyone permission to think for you. Don't enable any person to make you feel bad about yourself. The guilt and worry thing will actually help here.

Oh, and I think Baz is right about the sunscreen. SPF 30.

Now go be amazing.