copping out

Okay, so I'm in a rush this morning and really didn't have much of a blog topic ready so instead of posting a youtube video like I usually do when I'm unprepared, I'm posting a blog I had on my website over the weekend.

Because frankly, I'm still kind over the moon about it. Sorry if you've read this a hundred-million times.


I almost watched 20/20 Friday night because they were featuring 'Real-Life Vampires' and then thought..."Seriously, what are the odds they'll feature my book cover for this story?" Apparently I should also buy a lottery ticket because the odds were 100%!! You'll have to sit through a commercial once the video loads but at -6:34 on the timer, you'll see my beautiful cover with my name front and center!

Inside the World of Real-Life Vampires

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I was trying very hard to be a good girl this year, but I'm wearing down as the holiday grows near. So I know I said all I really wanted was world peace, but I think you'll agree I'm a good girl-- okay, technically I'm a good girl. And it is Yule and all... or will be soon.

So can I ammend my wish-list? Erm... with jut a few items. Also the world peace cra-- err-- thing. Yeah, definitely that, too.

K... here goes.

1. A DROID. I KNOW-- I have two cell phones, but I'll give the blue one back.

2. Miss Dior Cherie, by Christian Dior. I KNOW-- I already have a lot of perfume. But it's yummy and delicious.

3. A Singapura cat. I KNOW-- I only do rescues. But I saw it on animal planet, and my need-- it burns. They are the smallest of all cat breeds, are virtually maintenance free in the brushing department, and have personalities that stay kitten-like throughout their lives. How can I not insist upon one under the tree? I mean... come ON... look at that face!!

4. The world peace thing.

5. Um, have you heard about the cheesecake of the month club? I KNOW...
Know what? I really need to quit while I'm behind. Love you, Santa... mean it!!

I'm still full.

Happy Black Friday!
I hope you all had a wonderful day with family and friends yesterday,and I hope those of you who brave the crowds today come back with treasures.

Me?

I plan in knitting, watching movies, reading a book, and maybe playing Sims 2. And eating.

Maybe I'll even open my own book and put some words down, but frankly, I'm not sure I have it in me. I tried to write while the turkey was roasting yesterday and couldn't remember the main character's name. I'm halfway through the book, it's not like I just started the story.

So, I've given myself a four day holiday to just enjoy all the things I work so hard for.

How about you?

Fave Thanksgiving Traditions

It's nearly 2 pm as I write this. (Sorry, I got a slow start today.) The turkey is being heated in the oven. Just need to heat up the sides soon. I'll probably start in a minute or so.

Mr. Brice is putting together our baby's dresser/changing table so we can start washing baby clothes and put them away. (Right now our living room is overrun with bags and boxes of baby gifts because my friends here in DC threw me a baby shower on Sunday...wow, I feel so honored with the overwhelming generosity. Amazing! And I'm so very, very thankful.)

Anyway, I'm banging away at the keyboard, trying to get some revisions done while Thanksgiving dinner cooks.

This morning I've been engaged in some of my favorite Thanksgiving traditions, such as watching the Macy's Parade and the National Dog Show. I *love* the dog show!!! It's asbsolutely one of my favorite traditions.

Just seeing all those dogs is so fun. They're so sweet. My little Bailey is so intrigued watching them. My only complaint is that it's only purebred pedigreed dogs. OK, fine, those are nice. But give me a shelter mutt any day.

As far as I'm concerned, the Chow Lab should be an official breed eligible for the Dog Show. Of course, Bailey is pretty enough to be a show doggie, but he's DEFINITELY not well-behaved enough. LOL!

Anyway, a very happy and healthy Thanksgiving to you and your family and friends.

Christmas Burnout!

I was gonna post about Thanksgiving since it's tomorrow, but I decided to mix things up a bit and talk about what's on my mind right now. And that's Christmas Oversaturation, which has been getting increasingly worse every year. Signs of Christmas Oversaturation include:

--holiday items in the store on October 1 (or sometimes earlier)
--Christmas CDs put out by every freaking artist ever known to mankind
--bombardment of Christmas music on the radio right after Halloween

As you can tell from my tone, haha, I'm super tired of Christmas being shoved down our throats so freaking early in the year. Whatever happened to enjoying fall, and Thanksgiving (hah, see, I did tie it in!), and then moving into Christmas? Why is 1 month of celebration before Christmas not enough anymore?

Now, don't get me wrong--I LOVE CHRISTMAS. I think it's magical, and I adore that this is truly a season for giving and sharing and caring about others. But the commercialism and oversaturation of the season is just too much for me to handle anymore.

I don't know about you guys, but by the time Christmas actually arrives, I'm totally suffering from Christmas Burnout. Symptoms include:

--avoiding all Christmas aisles in stores (which is increasingly hard to do)
--writing snarky blog posts (hahahaha)
--not wanting to hear any new Christmas CDs (I'll stick to the classics, thanks)
--turning the station away from Christmas music (I don't want 24-hour Christmas songs!)

So, am I Uncle Scrooge here, or do you feel the same way too? Do you too suffer from Christmas Burnout, or do you dig getting started on the holiday celebration as early as possible? Share!

Black Friday

Black Friday seems to be one of those days that people either fully embrace or shy away from like a disease. Personally, I love to shop but the idea of getting up at 4 AM so I can be in line somewhere for a $3 toaster by 5 AM smacks of crazy.

That's not to say I might not go shopping on this day, I'm just not one of the people who show up before the sun.

In fact, I think my mom and I are planning on doing some shopping at one of the local retail villages. I'm thinking it should be pretty quiet as the stores are all boutiques and none of them are selling 97" TV's for $398.

Are you going shopping on Black Friday? Do you get up with early birds?

Mel Francis: The 10 things I try not to take for granted

We celebrate Thanksgiving here in America this week. All over Facebook and the blogosphere people are posting the things they're thankful for like family, job, friends, kids, spouse, etc. And while I agree that those are important things to be thankful for, I also think they can go without saying. Because seriously, if we have a job (whether we like it or not) we're thankful for it in this economy. Even if our families are totally tool sheds, there is at least one person in our family that we're thankful for. And would we even have friends if we didn't appreciate them? Exactly.

So here's my list of 10 things that I take for granted but am truly thankful I have in my life:

1. Music: a day without music is a day not lived
   
2. My computer (not just for being able to stay in daily contact with my friends in other states, but for also providing me a creative outlet on a daily basis)
3. My legs so I can walk: I walk about 20-25 miles a week. It started out as exercise and has turned into a necessity
4. Rivers, lakes, oceans, etc: Water is a calming force for me which is one reason I walk along the banks of the Arkansas River so often.
5. My pets--especially my sweet faced pug Ruby: yes I just picked a favorite. Get over it.
6. The health of my family: this one isn't so weird, but it is something I know I've always taken for granted in the past.
   
7. The fact that we FINALLY sold our house in Oxford after almost 2 years on the market.
8. My sense of humor: if you don't find me funny, that's okay. I'm only trying to entertain myself anyway.
   
9. Four-leaf clovers: I find them and they make me smile.
   
10. The maid: Oh wait...that is the one thing I'm thankful for in the future...if you looked in my kitchen right now, you'd definitely know Alice ran off with Sam.

So what are some of the things you take for granted but would really miss if they were taken away?

Pride and Passive Prejudices

I am going through a little bit of a struggle these days, and working hard to be positive and cheerful. But one of the issues is confidence, and another is focus. When I look terrible I get a bad return-vibe from people; and under good circumstances people usually feed me with positive energy. And when I feel really sick I tend to wind down and want to do nothing; so my writing is negatively impacted.

But the crux of the coming dread is hair. As in, I've already started to loose mine again and will most likely be bald by the end of the month.



I'm not vain. I've never been beautiful, but can pull off cute. I actually like being scruffy, boyish, and average-gal most of the time. While we all fall victim to occasional bouts of "man I look like poop," I actually think most of my life I was very nearly immune to that syndrome. But I have to say... the first time I lost all my hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes I noticed how terribly the general public treats people who show signs of severe illness.

Ironically, I can't think of any medical condition that would require the kind of treatments with these results that is contagious or economically specific. Yet every time my hair has gone away I was treated as if I were poor, dirty, and contagious. Rationally I know this is a knee-jerk reaction based in fear: she has something that terrifies me on a visceral, primal level-- I must run from it. But the degree to which it really does change my mode of moving through the world is a little scary.

For instance, last baldy-round I was in a jewelry store with the money I'd been given for my birthday, wanting to purchase a bracelet I saw. I was in immaculately clean jeans, with a nice knit top, and a Red Sox cap covering what was obviously a very bald dome. After fifteen minutes of clearing my throat, standing ignored, and even being told to wait after vocalizing a request for help, I left. The only other customers in the store were a couple. There were three people behind the glass counters. I finally just left. I also noticed that cashiers who saw me on a regular basis around town became careful about touching me when returning change or receipts. Many stopped making eye-contact, though I think this is probably more based in pity than anything else. It's not easy to know somebody is sick but not want to offend them with questions or stares.

Still, the prejudice is always there and always baffling. And if anything, my normal, instinctual reaction-- which is to be determinedly cheerful and joking about the whole mess-- doesn't seem to work.

Anyway, I'm considering getting a tattoo on the back of my head just to have some decoration. And maybe I'll dress kind of tough and bikery. Like it's on purpose. Because frankly, if I'm going to scare you, I'd rather it be that kind of fear.

That's right-- I'm bald, I'm bad, and I'm brooding. You wanna make somethin' of it?

*crickets chirping*

Well... maybe not so much bad as... err... cranky? *sigh*

Roses are red...

Let the count-down begin! Rhonda Stapleton's Stupid Cupid releases on December 22nd, just in time for Christmas! She's kicking off her Stupid Cupid book launch contest! Here's what's up for grabs:




--a copy of Stupid Cupid, signed by the author

--a $30 bookstore gift card to the store of your choice

--a $30 iTunes gift card

--a $30 Starbucks gift card



That's a $100 value!



So, what do you have to do to enter this incredible contest? Simple--write Rhonda a horrible love poem. The more purple-prosed and nauseating, the better. Visit her blog for more details and be sure to spread the word! ALL DETAILS AVAILABLE HERE!

I love this kid

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

How many times have we said those words? Thousands? Hundreds of thousands? If you attend public school in the US, you say it literally every morning.

How many of us have actually ever though about the words we were saying? I know that I was probably in second grade before I realized that there wasn't something called a "pledgallegiance." It was just so rote that I never even realized what I was saying.

Well, there's a very precocious 10-year-old boy in Arkansas who has not only thought about the words, but who has decided that he won't continue to say them until they actually hold meaning for all Americans. He analyzed the Pledge one weekend because he wants to be a lawyer. (Can you see why I love this kid?)

He's specifically referring to that last clause: "liberty and justice for all." Until there really is liberty and justice for all, he wants no part of saying the Pledge.



Discuss...

Fav TV shows

I'm not usually a big TV watcher. I prefer burying my nose in a book, or hanging on the interweb. But there are some shows I am totally hooked on:

Glee. Need I even say why? It has high school drama, romance, and MUSIC. And it's so cheeseball funny that I can't resist. I also love how the characters are so unique and fun and get themselves in these weird situations.

Sons of Anarchy. I'm not normally into motorcycles, or gangs, but this show is amazing. It's packed with action, drama, and yes, some hotness. haha. I'm REALLY digging this one!

Pawn Stars. It's all about a pawn shop run by 3 generations--a man, his son, and his dad. And I love it! They show lots of different items people bring in, and it's fun seeing about all the things people have to pawn or sell.

Rescue Ink. Burly tattooed men, saving animals in places most people are afraid to go. What more could I possibly want in a show? It's awesome and heartfelt, and I've totally cried. It's so sad to see the animal abuse, but I love that these guys have soft hearts and really care for animals.

The Office. Okay, this show is like crack. I can't stop watching it. Every time I see one on TV, I turn right to it. Even my kids love it! LOL. There are so many stupid people in there, and how can you not love watching Pam and Jim? Or Dwight? Or Michael?

There are more, of course, but right now I'm interested in hearing from you. Are there any shows that are must-see on your TV?

I have an addiction

I am addicted to chapstick, lip balm and lipgloss. You can tell where I've been in the house because you'll be able to find a tube stashed somewhere. I've repeatedly gotten to the end of tubes - in other words, used the whole thing. I've been known to save the tubes, put them in the microwave to melt the remaining balm, then pour them all into one container. Desperation brings serious measures.

I have a large collection of homemade natural lip balms in flavors like butter rum, blueberry and pina colada. I adore those. I'm wearing the pina colada right now. I'll probably apply it 50 more times before the day is through.

So tell the truth. What's your addiction?

ursovain

I love vanity plates. I really like the ones I have to work to guess...they're kinda like a puzzle. Here are some of my faves that I've seen over the years:

TIH2 HO (mirror image: Oh Shit)

PMPN8EZ (Pimpin' ain't easy)

NS8IABL (insatiable)

MKITSO (This made my Star Trek TNG heart smile: make it so)

IW84NO1 (I wait for no one)

IAM 007 (Bond? is that you)

GDAM8 (G'day Mate)

CD8D (sedated)

I personally want to have BCHN FCHN (Bitchin' Fiction) as my plate but it's too long. Sigh. I also considered MELODRMA but again, too long. Maybe just go with DAYDRM or MEL O

This weekend, I saw a plate that I never could decipher so I thought I'd post it on the interwebs and let you guys help me out.

SYTY2RY

Any thoughts?

Make My Yuletide Bright?

Last week I cancelled Christmas, but it's back on. No, really. I thought it was over, but it's not.

Why? Well I have discovered the gift for the woman who has everything. I no longer want the Droid (ok, I do, but not as much). I can pass on diamonds and pearls. I'm all set with candies and sugarplums. Nope. There's only one thing I want. Start the collection. I give you the ideal gift, the solution to all your fitness problems, the perfect way to firm your abs and spread holiday cheer over the drifts of snow en route to Gramma's house. Keep your Harry Winston trinkets, kids, I'm getting in line for...

THE HAWAII CHAIR!
Seen Below As Demonstrated by Ellen DeGeneres




I wonder if it comes in pink?

Well, they don't have this

Week two of unusual gift ideas.

Whose the kitchenator at your house? Do they have an egg separator? I bet they don't have THIS egg separator!


From the website: The Peter Petrie Egg Separator is the most unappetizing kitchen tool ever. And sadly, the stupid thing works. Just crack an egg into the hand-crafted ceramic head and tilt it forward.

When the yolk is blocked by the nose, the albumen tastefully drips into your bowl while the yolk is left behind. The Peter Petrie Egg Separator is skillfully made by potters and is perfect for egg white omelets, cakes and other recipes.

Mmmmm and only $12.99

Does your dad follow you turning off lights and appliances as you leave the room? Does he ever say, "Do you know how much electricity you are wasting?"

Now he can tell you!



For just $23.40 you can figure out your electrical expenses by the hour, day, week, month, even an entire year. You can buy that doo-hickey here.

How about an old fashioned picture of Aunt Gertie that changed into a zombified demony thing?

These pictures don't do it justice, so go the site so you can watch it morph.

Bella's Favorite Book

I don't think I've made it a secret that I'm not really a fan of the Twilight franchise. (Yeah, I know. I'm going to probably have my YA Writer card revoked.)

But I thought it was quite interesting when I was browsing the Teen section of the bookstore the other day, and came across this cover.



The version I saw had a sticker that said "Bella's favorite book." I found it very interesting that HarperTeen issued a reprint of Emily Bronte's classic "Wuthering Heights" with a very Twilight-esque cover...especially when you consider that Little, Brown is Stephanie Meyer's publisher (not Harper). But hey, I guess everyone wants to cash in on this gravy train.

(Personally, I think Harper should just cash in on some teen vamps they've already contracted...our very own Mel Francis' "Bite Me" totally rocks. And I'm not just saying that because she's my friend. It really does kick some Twilight butt.)

Anyway, I guess I really shouldn't complain. Anything that gets kids interested in the classics is A-Okay by me.

Hmm...I wonder if one of the reasons I never could relate to Bella was that I always sort of couldn't care less whether Cathy and Healthcliff perished on the moors or not. I know it's probably sacrilege, but I couldn't stand "Wuthering Heights."

But hey, to each her own.

What do you think about the new "Wuthering Heights" cover?

Words of Wisdom by Rhonda

Come gather 'round auntie Rhonda, my kiddies. It's time for me to share WORDS OF WISDOM (that part is said in a deep, echoing voice):

1--you can tell how a guy's gonna treat you by the way he treats his mom (or other significant females in his life)

2--spend at least a few minutes by yourself every day

3--faith and action must go hand-in-hand

4--don't trust someone who says, "trust me"

5--if you want to see the best and the worst in someone, go on vacation together

6--the more you learn, the more you realize you don't know

7--don't ditch your friends for a guy/girl--it's important to keep and nurture those friendships

8--it's NEVER too late to try something new

9--chocolate has zero calories when used in a therapeutic manner

10--even if you give 100% into a relationship, it's still only 50% (because you're only 1/2 of a couple)

So, what words of wisdom do YOU have to share?

Thanksgiving Fun

Here's a little online game to get you in the Thanksgiving spirit. And really, who doesn't need another time waster? You're welcome.

Turkey Fling

becoming a fan

I'll admit that I wasn't willing to give Taylor Swift a fair shot. I lumped her into the Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana group and really didn't pay her any attention.

Until the Kanye mess.

Sometimes I have 'underdog' syndrome and when Kanye stole Taylor's spotlight, I immediately went to iTunes and downloaded her latest album.

Then I listened to it.

And I kinda liked it.

And the more I listened, the more I liked it...even though I didn't want to admit it.

But hey, if I can openly love Avril Lavigne...why can't I like Taylor Swift just a little bit?

I don't know why. It doesn't make sense to me, but for some reason, I didn't wanna let myself be a Taylor Swift fan.

Until this past weekend when she hosted SNL. She did a great job in all of her skits, but this one--made me a fan.

The Nabisco People Are Trying to Kill Me

It's not right. The people at Nabisco are clearly trying to kill me. I was minding my own business, wandering right past the cookie aisle, when I was accosted by a display clearly designed by sadistic minions of the devil. There they were: The Limited Edition Mint Fudge Oreos.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Limited edition?" Yes. Limited edition. And it's not just the Mint Fudge edition we need to dodge and avoid like David Beckham on the field. No, as if those fudge-dipped, decadent little orbs of evil weren't enough, the Nabisco psych-- err-- people have whipped up several "limited" Oreo versions. Take, for instance, the Strawberry Milkshake, Peppermint Candy, and Banana Split editions.


Still think they're innocent? Well let me ask you... why LIMITED? Hmm? Why get us all hooked on those new, shiny, beckoning delights with their glorious, dark cookies cradling new, exciting secrets in a clearly salacious and indecent manner? Why not just give us the new indulgence, such as they did with the Double Stuff Oreo? Why wasn't THAT a "limited edition?


I'll tell you why... the double middle was like a trainer drug. It lured us in. It got us hooked. We unscrewed those first temptations, delighted at the sheer luxurious excess, licked them with reckless abandon, and re-screwed the dark discs without realizing our descent into darkness had begun. It starts with double-stuff. Then it's "oh-look-a-special-edition."

Thanks Nabisco. Why don't you just sell them in a handbasket?